Switzerland, the land of cows, cheese, chocolate, watches and other wonders.

Here I am, the wonderful Mrs Marvelous, Trailing Spouse extraordinaire. Uprooted from the North of Europe, planted now in the soil of Switzerland.

Before we moved here two years ago, I imagined mountains, snow, tranquility, trains that never run late and Winter with a capital W. Right? Oh boy, how wrong was I! 

This will be a blog about my daily struggle life as I kick off "Operation Integration" as it seems we're in no hurry to leave this country. 

No one told me that the summers here are hot, that our town has its own micro climate that seems to keep cold air and clouds away and that bugs come super sized comparing to where I come from. 

I'm terrified of bugs and last week Nature attacked me in my own home in a big way. As Murphy's law is what it is, my bug catching Ninja (aka the husband) was abroad. Of course. 

I was on my way to the kitchen when I saw an eerie shadow in the hallway on top of our wardrobe. I looked up and met a pair of eyes. Hungry, hungry eyes (no, not really, this is just my imagination). A gigantic cricket. Never seen anything that big before (in Europe, that is. Used to live in Australia so can't compare the bug sizes). How did it get up there, I wondered as I ran to the living room, slamming the glass door shut behind me. There is no option of gently catching a bug when it's just me and me alone. No way. Keep your cup/cardboard methods, thankyouverymuch. 

It was survival of the fittest and the cricket was winning!

I took a bug spray (opened for over a year already and it claims to be valid only for 2 months after opening) and from a great distance, I sprayed at it. 

Psssssfffff. Psssssssf psssssfff PSSSSSSSSSSSSFFFFF! *insert here an image of Rambo shooting*

That sure pissed it right off as it took off and flew (so that's how it got up there, dammit) right at me. 

Screaming, I ran back to the living room and slammed the glass door shut once again as the cricket decided to park itself to the other side of the glass. I looked at it, it looked at me. Laughing, mocking my pitiful attempt to kill it. It eats girls like me for breakfast without chewing. I'm sure of it. It now had me cornered, there was no way out for me.

The bug spray sure as hell wasn't killing it but it got it a bit tipsy. So tipsy it forgot to eat me and instead flew into our guest room. As it did so, I made my move and closed the door of that room. I would've locked the door but the key was on the wrong side. Luckily,  it didn't know how to turn the handle to open the door.....

So there it was, still chirping its blood thirsty songs, waiting for my saviour husband's return flight. 

....And then it was Go Time for Jiminy Cricket....

No zooming needed.